'I'm anorexic again... I have a phobia of eating more than 400 calories': Nikki Grahame on her eating disorder



After ten years of keeping her anorexia under control, Nikki Grahame has relapsed.
The former Big Brother housemate has checked herself into a the 11th institution she has been in since she first showed signs of the illness, aged eight.
Nikki, who has cut cut her food intake by half and now weighs just 5st 8lb, says the illness returned when she had a bunion removed and 'started to panic' because she couldn't exercise.
Eating disorder: Former Big Brother star Nikki Grahame has revealed that she is battling anorexia again
Eating disorder: Former Big Brother star Nikki Grahame has revealed that she is battling anorexia again
Eating disorder: Former Big Brother star Nikki Grahame has revealed that she is battling anorexia again
'Then, as soon as I could, I started exercising to a ridiculous degree - but without increasing the food,' she told Heat magazine.
'I have this phobia of having more than 400 calories at any one time. I can't allow myself to sleep if I feel I haven't done enough exercise.
'I don't sit down for two hours after I've eaten.'
Nikki, 29, burst on to the scene in 2006, as a contestant on the reality show.
She went on to star in her own series, Princess Nikki, and 2010's Ultimate Big Brother.
In 2008, she penned her book Dying to Be Thin, detailing her battle with the disease.
Looking healthier: Nikki burst on the scene in 2006 as a contestant on Big Brother
Looking healthier: Nikki burst on the scene in 2006 as a contestant on Big Brother
In it, she spoke about weighing less than 3st at age 13 and having to be fed through a tube for two years.
Posing in her underwear with a tape measure around her waist, Nikki revealed she has never had a period so will never have children naturally.
She has to take medication each day after ruining her oesophagus from purging, has osteoporosis and has broken bones from being hugged because she is so frail.
The full interview with Nikki is in this week's heat magazine on sale now
The full interview with Nikki is in this week's heat magazine on sale now
'I feel like a failure. I've written my book and said that I've beaten this illness, but now it's completely controlling me.
'I have to know where and when I'll be eating two days in advance so I can prepare myself mentally. It just completely controls everything.
'I'm tormented. All I think about is this regimented schedule.'
Nikki attends a clinic from 10am til 4pm every day where she has to eat when told.
The staff supervise the patients so they don't throw up their food.
Speaking out as part of her counseling, Nikki said she sometimes hears a voice in her head.
'It's just guilt. It's constantly remanding you that you don't deserve a nice time. You don't deserve to be there.
'You're insignificant to everyone else. Unbelievable self-loathing. I did have thoughts of harming myself when I heard a friend slag me off recently, because that justifies how I feel about myself.'
  • The full interview with Nikki is in this week's heat magazine on sale now



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